Blog

August 12, 2022

We avoid our feelings by worrying too much

A client of mine tended to worry a lot before giving a talk in front of a group of people.  He worried that his mind might go blank or he might...

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August 05, 2022

What is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) reported that Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is one of the most common personality disorders.  In fact, it is common...

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July 27, 2022

Disconnection with an immature parent

For those who come from an intact family with both parents providing them with sufficient basic needs, such as food, shelter, and education, it may be difficult for them to tell...

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July 22, 2022

Addicted to social media? Or addicted to ourselves?

It is beyond dispute that most of us use social media apps for virtual socializing and connecting with our family and friends.  From the ritual of photographing our food every time...

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July 15, 2022

From the complexity of human in the movie, “Broker”, to the dichotomous thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder

“Broker” is a Korean movie directed by a Japanese director, Kore-eda Hirokazu.  The actor in the leading role, Song Kang-Ho was also awarded best actor in the Festival De Cannes this...

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July 08, 2022

Are you emotionally unstable? How can you learn to regulate your emotions?

Many of my clients have unstable emotions in their daily lives.  They might suddenly feel very sad in a gathering with their friends.  They might also experience out of proportion anger...

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June 30, 2022

Borderline Personality Disorder – A lack of sense of self and internal stability

One of my clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) got triggered by her boyfriend’s recent heavy workload because he could not see her as much as he used to see her. ...

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June 24, 2022

Why do some people have no capacity to be alone?

Some of my clients were unable to be alone and constantly needed the companion of others.  If they lived alone, they needed to be in contact with their family members or...

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June 17, 2022

A note of infinite games and meaning of life

One of my clients came back to me due to her recent relapse in depression.  She felt her life as meaningless and started to have low motivation for study and enjoy...

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June 10, 2022

The movie, Top Gun: Maverick, inspires us on bravery, a character strength that we need to embrace

Many people had watched the movie, Top Gun: Maverick, and were impressed by the cinematography and the strengths of bravery and persistence embraced in it.  Captain Pete Maverick Mitchell, a US...

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June 02, 2022

The bright and dark side of narcissism

One of my clients brought her husband to see me due to their difficult marital relationship.  With thorough interviews with the couple and each of them, I found that the husband...

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May 27, 2022

Our seeing and not seeing

In a gathering with some friends, a couple talked about their experience in choosing a new car.  The couple had difficulty in making the final decision of choosing which model to...

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May 20, 2022

The lack of boundaries with an immature parent may cause difficulty to cultivate healthy adult relationships

In my clinical practice, a lot of my clients reported their parents as being immature and they are deprived of emotional support and guidance from them.  Most of my clients did...

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May 13, 2022

As an introvert, how can I develop intimate relationships with friends and partners?

The loosening of restrictions for social distancing in recent few weeks in Hong Kong enable many people to enjoy large-group social gatherings. People who are enthusiastic about socialising start to publish...

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May 06, 2022

Can we really know if someone is a good or bad person?

Since our childhood, we normally learned from our parents that who was the good person and the bad person in a movie?  For instance, we might perceive the murderer of a...

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April 29, 2022

Are you ready for pursuing a life after the temporary suspension due to the 5th wave of the pandemic?

Due to the loosening of restrictions of the social distancing measures recently, many of our normal activities, such as schooling, working in the office, or dining out for dinner, resumed gradually. ...

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April 14, 2022

Our struggle with gratitude in the face of the pandemic

This year’s Easter is a special holiday because we are still under the restrictions for social distancing due to the pandemic.  Indeed, we may also look forward to the gradual release...

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April 08, 2022

Are you living true to yourself?

When we think about the end of our lives, what do we think we are most likely to feel regretted?  One of the possible regrets in our final reflection of our...

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April 01, 2022

Our mental health and our tolerance for uncertainty in the pandemic

We live our lives day by day without reflecting about our body and our health.  We may eat healthily and exercise regularly to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  For some people, they...

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March 25, 2022

In this 5th wave of the pandemic, how to manage your mental health at work?

It is not easy to adjust to work in the face of all the uncertainties and unexpected arrangement in the 5th wave of the pandemic.  Many of my clients suffer from...

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March 18, 2022

Are we trying to compare with others to find our true self?

According to the estimation of the government, there are approximately 300,000 people being quarantined due to Covid infection or their family members being infected.  It is beyond dispute that those who...

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March 11, 2022

How to stay tune with others in the 5th wave of the pandemic?

More and more people stay home for work and study to maintain social distancing due to the worsening of the 5th wave of the pandemic. Given all the restrictions in social...

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March 04, 2022

In the face of our uncertainty, we need to embrace our “not-knowing”

The recent worsening of the 5th wave of the pandemic in Hong Kong has increased the anxiety and fear of many people.  As the situation is still not under controlled, we...

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February 18, 2022

The way we attach to our partners depends on our social brain network

Relationships are the hot topic for this week as both Western and Chinese Valentine’s Days are in the same week.  Many couples celebrated these two Valentine’s Days in their special ways...

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February 11, 2022

What is the difference between psychotherapy and counselling?

More and more people are seeking psychological services in recent decades due to the increase awareness of the importance of psychological well-being.  When people are seeking help, they may have difficulties...

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January 14, 2022

Why do I overreact in slight provocation sometimes?

One of my clients told me that he frequently cannot control his anger towards his mother-in-law.  One day, he went to have lunch with his wife’s parents and he wore a...

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January 07, 2022

In the beginning of 2022, is it good for us to set goals basing on our desire?

One day during my Christmas holiday, I went to have a nice lunch with my husband.  When I arrived at the restaurant, I went to the toilet.  While I was washing...

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December 17, 2021

A new perspective in self identify for you in 2022

When we introduce ourselves, we often identify ourselves as our occupation, family roles, or our sexuality. For me, I am a female married clinical psychologist. We tend to define ourselves with...

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December 10, 2021

Being creative in finding our strengths and excel in our lives

A client of mine with social anxiety issues found himself very shy and quiet at workplace after his graduation in the university business school.  He thought he was very inadequate in...

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November 26, 2021

Our own reminiscence and facing of impermanence in the movie “Anita Mui”

 A lot of people in town are talking about the biographical movie, “Anita Mui”.  Many people who had watched the movie had gone through a reminiscence of the energetic and vibrant...

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November 19, 2021

Are you in an enmeshed relationship without boundary?

There are a lot of clients of mine being trapped in enmeshed relationships with their significant others, such as parents or spouses.  For instance, a wife is totally dependent on her...

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November 05, 2021

Your current pain may reflect your deepest unconnected values

A client of mine is suffering from depression and anxiety due to long-standing work stress.  With a lucrative salary and a high social economic status, he was reluctant to quit his...

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October 29, 2021

What is adult ADHD?

A client of mine has been working in his company for 15 years.  All along, he related well with his colleagues and had normal job performance.  However, after being promoted to...

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October 22, 2021

Who am I? Am I my illness? Am I my career? Am I my family roles?

When you meet a group of strangers in a networking event, what would you tell these people about yourself?  If this networking event is a work-related function, you may tell these...

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October 08, 2021

Personality disorders and infidelity

It is common to see infidelity in drama and movies.  In reality, infidelity is more common than you think.  According to an article in Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, more...

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September 24, 2021

Why do our core beliefs developed from childhood so hardwired?

A client of mine strongly believed that she’s unlovable and unworthy frequently felt upset when others are not paying attention to her or are omitting her for gatherings.  She tended to...

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September 17, 2021

The grieving of an absence of parental figures is important for the later stage in resolving childhood trauma

In the newly released Marvel movie “Shang-chi”, one of the most impressive presentation was the relationship between Shang-chi and his father, Wenwu.  As Shang-chi lost his mother at young age and...

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September 10, 2021

What is psychotherapy in neuroscientific perspective?

Throughout the 20 years of my practice as a clinical psychologist, many people asked me similar questions, “Is psychotherapy just a chit chat?” “How does chit chat in psychotherapy different from...

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September 03, 2021

A healthy boundary with others is important for our well-being

Many clients of mine complained about their friends seldom initiated chats or gatherings with them.  They felt that their friends only contact them when they were in need and intended to seek...

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July 30, 2021

The openness and empathy in a mindful dialogue

As a repeated customer of a shop, I came across different types of salespersons in my buying experience.  I went to this shop this week and wanted to shop for an...

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July 23, 2021

Taking care of our inner child

A client of mine suffers from shopaholism and cannot control her impulsive buying even after being in debts for a sustained period of time.  She went shopping nearly everyday at lunch...

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