Our mind is webbed, that is why we are so caught up sometimes

Whenever I suggested my clients to practice mindfulness in every day life, they sometimes told me that it is very difficult for them to stay focus to be mindful to their present.  They are usually easily being caught up with their busy mind.  For instance, a lady who had gone through grief for the passing …

What is dissociation? Is dissociative experience rare?

Have you ever got lost in a movie and are absorbed by it?  You may not realise the persons sitting next to you in the cinema are crying or using their mobile phones.  Have you ever felt numb immediately after being told some sad news, such as the passing of a loved ones?  Have you …

The healthy version of avoidant personality in the continuum

We may come across someone in our workplace or in our social circle who tend to enjoy solitary activity and seldom engage in group gatherings.  For instance, a client of mine, despite being good-looking and intelligent, seldom accepted the invitation from his colleagues for lunch gatherings.  He was always emotionally distant.  In fact, even when …

Who am I? Do I define myself by external realities?

Through socialization, we learned to define ourselves basing on our external realities.  For instance, one of my clients identified herself as a “bad daughter-in-law” due to her poor relationship with her mother-in-law.  As her mother-in-law treated her badly since she married her son, she could not relate with her normally.  In fact, her mother-in-law criticized …

To be at peace with the negative aspects of people in our environment

Some of my clients are really kind and nice persons to me. They frequently are being bothered by the politics of their workplace.  Even though some of them are already good at noticing red flags of their colleagues who may want to manipulate others in some incidents, they felt very annoyed and uncomfortable for having …

Moderation in openness to our anxiety and fear

Anxiety and fear are common emotions.  Functionally, these two emotions are signals for us to be alert to threats and danger.  In my clinical experience, clients often tend to obsess in totally eliminating their anxiety and fear.  It is because they usually find these two emotions as aversive and unpleasant.  For those with social anxiety, …