Happy Year of Dragon! How did you celebrate Chinese New Year? Having lots of delicious meals? Getting lots of Lai See from relatives and friends? It is our tradition to wish each other good luck and good health in this important festival. When we do this, we unknowingly separate good luck and bad luck, good health and poor health, or also rich and poor. Of course, it is our culture and tradition that connect us with our family and friends. There is no harm and it is important to follow our tradition. With deeper reflection, it seduces us to believe that such separation is inherent in nature. Is it really the case?
In fact, this dichotomous thinking leads us to misunderstand that the boundaries between good luck and bad luck can be separated. We need to understand that separation creates a boundary and it also connects what it separates. For example, a client of mine came to me to help alleviate her anxiety of having heart disease. She had done many physical checkup and all medical doctors told her she was physically fit. This means that all medical reports distinguished her as healthy from unhealthy in terms of physical health. However, she still suffered from anxiety and she kept worrying about her occasional discomfort in chest. After thorough interview, I discussed with her about her heath anxiety. I guided her to understand her obsession in getting a formal diagnosis for her on and off minor symptoms made her to have chronic anxiety. This persistent anxiety exacerbated her mild symptoms in her heart sometimes. Therefore, this client is healthy and at the same time not too healthy psychologically.
To understand things or concepts are separated and at the same time connected helps us to navigate in this world with equanimity. Every decision we made has both good and bad consequences. Every action we took creates both positive and negative impacts. For instance, the convenience of usage of plastics also has detrimental consequences to our environment. Another example is experiencing hardship in life can strengthen our resilience and make us stronger.
Sometimes, we also tend to perceive we are superior or inferior to the other party. For example, a supervisor may think he is superior to his supervisee. However, with deeper thoughts, a supervisor cannot become a supervisor without the supervisee. Therefore, a supervisor can be perceived as separated with a supervisee, but at the same time, connected with the supervisee. This is what I mean separation creates boundary but at the same time, connects the two things together.
With this in mind, we can learn to cultivate a mindset of separation also connects. We may be less obsessed with good luck and good health. It is important for us not to separate ourselves from those with apparent psychological or psychiatric problems. Who doesn’t have issues? Wishing you equanimity and peace in Year of Dragon.
