A client of mine with social anxiety issues found himself very shy and quiet at workplace after his graduation in the university business school. He thought he was very inadequate in his work in the investment banking field. He worried a lot about having conversations with other colleagues as he thought he had limited knowledge in finance even after graduating from business school. With thorough discussion, it was found that he actually was not interested in business and finance. It was his father’s suggestion for him to choose to study in the business school. After graduation, he and his father thought the only path he should take was to work in the business field.
After realising his lack of interest in the business field, he found himself having talent in design and arts. He received lots of positive feedback from his friends, who asked him to help in designing logos or posters for their startups. As a result, he started working in his relative’s designing firm as an intern. Surprising, he felt very energizing and motivated for his work every day. His social anxiety subsided. He developed very good relationships with his colleagues in the designing firm. He also planned to study design and find a full-time job in design.
It was a completely creative path for him as his father and all of his siblings work in the business field. He used to think the only path for him for work was working in business or finance. After realising his strengths in design and arts, he found hope and zest in his life and work. He started to see himself as adequate and talented. With increased self-esteem, his social anxiety issue subsided.
It is common for people to follow the paths of their peers or family members. With fixed mindset, we become easily stuck with trying to act according to the social or family norms. However, the paths that are taken by many people in the community or family might not be the suitable paths for an unique individuals. By thinking and stepping out of the box, we may find an unique path for ourselves to express our strengths and cope with our weaknesses. For instance, for a boy with artistic talent, learning kung fu in the masculine group might be to difficult and challenging. He might also be bullied by other boys in the masculine group if he acted too feminine and weak. However, if this boy accidentally found his path in ballet dancing, he might feel accomplished and motivated. He might also be highly recognized by his peers in the dancing field. This is a creative way of the boy to express his strengths, because people usually do not associate ballet dancing with masculinity. Despite this, this creative way of expressing his artistic talent helps this boy to excel and live a fulfilling life.
Everyone of us has hidden strengths and uniqueness. We need to be very creative in trying and learning different things. If you are stuck in your current roles or work, do not be discouraged and do not give up. Thinking and stepping out of the box and you may find your own unique path for a fulfilling and prosperous life.
