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Christmas is usually a time for reunion with family members and friends.  Most people look forward to parties and gatherings for socializing and sharing of their happy moments.  However, it is also common for some people to be alone during Christmas holiday due to various reasons.  With all the commercials and posting on social media, people who need to be alone during this festive season may feel depressed or lonely.  If you are someone who may be alone in this holiday, it may be a good idea to learn to cultivate positive solitude through practicing mindfulness.

To practice mindfulness, you may try to do formal exercises, such as sitting meditation or body scan.  You may also try to be mindful in some informal practice, such as during walking in the park or taking a shower.  It is important to know that, usually, practice mindfulness requires solitude.  This kind of solitude is not forced by external forces.  Instead, it is an intentional, chosen and peaceful kind of solitude.  When we engage in mindfulness exercise, we are having a rich experience of being curious and accepting to our inner experience.  In fact, we are not trying to empty our mind.  We are trying to be present and open to our inner emotions and physical sensations. 

During a mindful state, you can maintain a present moment awareness on your inner emotions and bodily sensations.  This redirects our mind from our ruminations of the past and worries about the future.  We also learn to accept ourselves with a non-judgmental stand and cultivate compassion to our sufferings.  This is a kind of positive solitude because we purposefully practice a deep sense of self-awareness during the aloneness.  Usually, after this deep self-awareness, we can be more grounded and calmer.  As a result, we are more likely to be able to engage in some pleasurable activities alone.  For instance, some of my clients find it easier to stay focus to read after a formal mindfulness practice when being alone at home in the evening.

In this era of prosperous AI development, most of us are busy with engaging with our digital devices every day.  When we pick up our mobile phone, we may automatically click those social media apps to stay updated of our friends’ new postings.  This is not a problem if we just do it a few times a day.  However, for many people, this automatic pilot happens more than 50 or 100 times a day.  Especially during Christmas, people who are alone may be more prone to have depressive mood if they use their social media apps too often.  This is because they are exposed to all the postings of their friends about family’s and friends’ gatherings.  In fact, practicing mindfulness helps us to get in touch with our inner world and pause from being automatically absorbed into the digital world.  Mindfulness is a way to cultivate positive solitude for people to disconnect from the influence of the digital devices in their lives.

With mindfulness, if we are alone in Christmas, we can still enjoy ourselves and be curious with our inner world.  It may be an opportunity for us to engage in deep self-discovery and self-exploration.  There are many ways to celebrate Christmas.  To take care of ourselves through cultivating positive solitude, we can also enjoy our Christmas holiday in a peaceful and fruitful way.  Merry Christmas!